Saturday, February 26, 2011

Cha Cha Cha Changes

I will honestly admit that this past month with only four children has been nice.  I've been able to catch up on a lot of housework that I had neglected.  The hallway is getting painted, new toilet was installed, the piles of "craft" items have been removed from my scrapbook desk.  Well, a lot of it has, anyway.  I am feeling back to myself again. 

Lots of changes for our little guy.  He now has a new case worker.  This will be his third over the last 25 months he has been in foster care.  His new social worker is fairly new.  She now has 11 cases.  I am hopefully optimistic that this change will also bring some changes for him.  I hate the fact that he is just in a kind of limbo.  What the county has decided to do is look for a concurrent family, at the same time going for reunification with his birth mom.  So this week I had another county worker come to my house and talk to both little guy and I about him.  What he liked, food, sports, his behavior.  Then they are going to write up his "biography" of sorts, and basically pass it out to foster parents, saying he is looking for a concurrent family.  A concurrent family is a foster family this is also willing to adopt should the reunification not work out.

This part breaks my heart.  At this point, I can't imagine our family without our little guy.  When we decided to become a foster family, our family's decision was to foster only.  Of course, we didn't have any foster children in our home then, either.  But adopting is a HUGE decision, and it has to be the whole family's decision.  There is our age.  We're not as young as we used to be!  And, I have been blessed with three of my own biological children.  My feelings are there are so many wonderful, loving people who are unable to have children of their own.  What a wonderful gift this little guy will be in their lives, should his path go down that road.



Tried a new food this month!  Crunchy Barney Almond Butter, Peanut Free and Gluten Free.  Going up and down the nut butter aisle, it was interesting to see how many other kinds of nut butters were made in a plant that processes peanuts.  Our little guy is allergic to peanuts, but so far no other nuts.   I like the fact that it is crunchy.  We use soy butter, but it only comes in the creamy variety.  Put a few things together, and this is what I made:

Almond Butter and Banana Wrap

1 wrap (I used California Lavash Whole Grain,
              http://www.californialavasih.com/)
1 T. Barney Almond Butter (more or less to taste)
1 banana

Spread the almond butter on the wrap, place the banana in the middle, and roll it all up.  Cut into slices, like sushi.  Simple.  And best of all, the boys loved them.  Lots of varieties to this recipe, I'm sure.  If you try it, let me know how you like it!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Answered Prayers

Our children are often in our prayers, as are their family.  Oh, I don't feel I pray as often as I should, but I do my best.  Last week I decided that rather than just praying "for" our children, I would throw in a little something more specific.  Heavenly Father, I'm going to pray that this little baby go to his family.  Or something like that.  Yep, I asked God to take this beautiful baby away from our family and to go to his own family.  That was on Sunday.  On Wednesday I got a call from the case worker.  The Call.  Paperwork was finally done, the baby would be going home to his grandparents on Friday. 

Friday.  That gives me two days.  Hold on a minute, God.  I know this is what I asked for, but isn't that a little short notice?  I mean, our little munchkin is almost walking.  I want to see him walk across MY living room.  I have a lot to pack.  I haven't finished his lifebook.  I haven't even started his lifebook!

This was our first reunification.  So many emotions went through me.  This is the last time I give him a bath.  This is the last time I sing to him.  This is the last time I lay him down for the night.  Every time I thought that I would cry.  I did a fair share of crying for those two days.

Those two days before he left was a whirlwind of activity at our house.  Much packing, getting paperwork ready.  I typed up his daily schedule for the grandparents.  I am so grateful that I have a good relationship with the grandparents, and the birth mother.  Well, as good a relationship as I could have.

Finally, Friday arrived.  I brought our little munchkin to Social Services, where we met the grandparents.  There we unloaded my vehicle (a large-sized suv) and packed their vehicle (compact car).  Then, after the packing, unpacking, and packing up again, I had to say goodbye.  I had to give him back. 

That was the moment that, when I tell people that I am a foster parent, most people bring up why they could never do what I do.  Having to give the baby up.  Give the baby up?  He was never mine to keep.